The outrage of Numenorian Exile #1 "The Chaplain to the Titanic Quarter"



An aggrieved Numenorian Exile attacks a metaphorical representation of the ludicrous idea "Chaplain to the Titanic Quarter"



The description of Numenorian Exile's blog reads, Liturgy, Reflection, and Muse, however there are occasions when Noble Knight needs to speak out against ludicrous, absurd, ridiculous, and downright farcical ideas. Particularly ideas from the Church. (When Nmenorian Exile refers to the Church, he means that part of the Anglican Communion in Ireland).

Noble Knight wants to make clear from the very start that he is not attacking the person, character, or nature of the Rev Chris Bennett, that is not what Numenorian Exile does. Numenorian Exile is attacking the nonsensical idea that he is part of and what indeed the Lord Bishop of Down and Dromore, (Rt Rev Harold Millar), is also a party to.

In the two thousandth and eleventh year of Lord, the Rt Rev Harold Millar, The Lord Bishop of Down and Dromore, introduced the Rev Chris Bennett as "Chaplain to the Titanic Quarter". The Titanic Quarter Parish was created at the request of M'Lord  Bishop Millar. The parish stretches from       the Odyssey Complex to the far end of Queen's Island with the Lagan as a boundary on the one side and the Sydenham Bypass on the other. In short this new parish is in effect the old Harland and Wolff Shipyard.

The Bishop proclaimed at the time, "We have no idea what the church is going to look like in the Titanic Quarter", although recently it has come to the ears of Numenorian Exile that the Church is to be a boat anchored in the River Lagan. This raises three fundamental questions, firstly. who is financing this floating Temple of the LORD? Secondly Numenorian Exile thought that the River Lagan was the boundary? Would it not be better that the church was actually in the Parish? Well that is a silly question, surly it's far more advantageous for the Diocese of Down and Dromore to have, in modern parlance, "a happy clapper boat", on the Lagan, with a "chill out zone", (whatever that is ?), and a nice little bourgeois middle class talking shop. Thirdly who is the mission directed to? Nobody actually lives in the quarter or rather there is not actually a community based there, among the waste ground and dry docks of Belfast's industrial heritage. This leads Numenorian Exile to ask a fourth question, "How can the Bishop justify having a full time stipendiary Priest overseeing a mission in an area that is effectively waste ground, business accommodation, leisure complexes and car parks?"

Now, Numenorian Exile has investigated the website, "The Dock Church", in order to ascertain the mission statement of the Church. I mean you would think that being a "Church" it would have a mission statement, well it has one of sorts. It has a "Vision Statement",Numenorian Exile assumes this is a trendy way of saying this is our confession of faith, purpose, and mission. Looking through the vision statement Noble Knight's eye caught a glance at the estimated size of the new community, "twenty thousand in  modern apartments". These "Yuppie" apartments are not built as yet, indeed the last time Numenorian Exile visited his Castle he did not observe the building of apartment blocks, therefore Numenorian Exile's question still stands, "How can the Bishop justify this".

Numenorian Exile examines the Vision Statement.

The Dock Church.

A very bold statement indeed, and one that no reasonable Knight could take issue with ? Not so!Numenorian Exile views this as the typical trendy church talk that is very, very popular in this day and age, yet Noble knight knows how to decode this puke. It should read as follows, "We are all very nice people, and we have very nice ideas, indeed we are well meaning, but actually we are just a talking shop that detracts from the real issues and the real need for mission." (Numenorian Exile will tackle "mission" later as it is the key to Numenorian Exile's outrage)

 Vision of the Dock Church
This is a very popular post modern view of what the Church should be and what the Church should do. In this paragraph Numenorian Exile discerns two things, firstly that this "new Church", will be a sort of community centre/ social workers base. There is nothing wrong with pastoral care, indeed it is a bulwark of the Christian Faith, but what is being proposed here is far from it. What is being proposed is a gossip factory, much like a cafe. Secondly Numenorian Exile sees who the target of this "Mission" actually are. (More on that later)

    More on the Dock Church Vision
Is this a Parish Church or not? What exactly is this supposed to be? What is the point of having yet another meeting place with coffee and newspapers and that sort of tripe? Is that what the Bishop thinks is going to bring people to Christ ? Can you image it? A typical Belfast working class male, "Alright mate, I will have a copy of the Newslatter and a cup of Caffee", Titanic Chaplain, "Certainly, would you like decaf or non decaf Gospel with that?" Perhaps Numenorian Exile is going over the top in his example, this boat will not cater for the working class, this boat will cater for the new Urban Man in his lush apartment and do you think he will want to stop and chat?

THE ACTUAL OUTRAGE OF NUMENORIAN EXILE !
Now, Numenorian Exile has explained what this new Parish is, what it will look like and what the vision statement is all about. Why is Numenorian Exile so annoyed? Well it is quite simple it's the mission aspect of the whole thing. Numenorian Exile does not care for bunkum and there is an awful lot of bunkum associated with the so called mission! Numenorian Exile is angry because in the last three years two churches on the Newtownards Road, (an arterial road that runs through the heart of East Belfast to the City Centre, that fed the Ship Yard with workers over the decades), have been deconsecrated, the two churches belonged to Down and Dromore and were Anglican, and both are just a stones throw from the Ship yard. Of course there is also Ballymarcarrett Parish Church, (formally St Patrick's Church of Ireland), a church built with the proportions of a Cathedral, that has a congregation that is on the decline, and is supposedly the base of outreach and mission in that area. (Which it has failed to do)!

So you can see why Numenorian Exile is so annoyed with those that are part of this scheme and who brand it with missionary zeal, the fact of the matter is simple, the road on which live the descendents of those that built the Titanic is in need of outreach from the Church, yet, that community has been ignored by the Bishop, in favour of a Parish made up of no one but seagulls and stray dogs. Speaking of dogs, the dogs in the street know that this is a farcical idea and that the actual priority of the Church should be the revitalisation of the Parish of Ballymacarrett and not some trendy scheme to get people into a church that does not exists and even when it does will not serve the people of Ballymacarett Parish.

I shall continue to pray for the Parish of Ballymacarett and I shall continue to vent my outrage about this at every possible opportunity, put simply, would it not be better to have a missionary Priest on the Newtownards Road, rather than on waste ground ?